Some more Thoughts about the Conflict

Warning - another long post ahead! I have these thoughts running through my head, resonating and developing, and I'd like to share them here.

I truly believe that in order to change things and arrive at a solid foundation for peace, we have to learn to accept each other narratives. A narrative isn't necessarily "historical truth" if there is even such a thing. Yes, many events are documented, and I have a lot of respect for history as a discipline, but in the end of the day, we can go on arguing forever, because each side will pick the events that best suit their narrative, emphasize some events, and ignore or play down others. It's not an unimportant debate, the historical one, but it has to be done with a mind to reach the other side, teach them about our narrative, and learn theirs, with an aim of reaching a stage where we can acknowledge and respect the other side's narrative.

I respect the Palestinian narrative of the Naqbe. Yes, those villages were destroyed in the war, and it was a national tragedy of huge proportions. In the Palestinian narrative, they were driven away from their land by force by the Zionists. It's a narrative of pain and longing and one which I acknowledge and would like to work with in the future.

The Zionist narrative of the very same events is a different one. It's not myths to be put down and erased, IMO. It deserves its place in the joint space we're trying to build here, just as much as the Palestinian narrative deserves its own space. It's a narrative of a people who were (in their own feelings, as legitimate as those of any others) on the verge of extinction. Of people who lived under the fear of being slaughtered by their Palestinian neighbors (as has happened to Jews living in Hebron for example, and in other places). It's a narrative of a group of people dedicated to establishing a free national home for their people, just like the Palestinians are looking to do for themselves now. People dedicated, at least on the ideological level, to concepts of democracy, socialism and development of the land, along their neighbors (talking about the mainstream Zionism of that time, and to some extent up until now). I could go on, but I'll stop here. My point is that both sides should try and see both sides of the story, or we'll never get anywhere. I am opening my mind and my heart to the story of the Naqbe, to the Palestinian narrative. I think it should be taught in Israeli schools and hopefully that will happen someday. I agree that mainstream Zionists are not familiar enough with it, and thus many do not empathize enough with the pain of it. We have a lot to work on (not much of a surprise, eh? ;) ).

At the same time, I think Palestinians, those living inside of Israel, those living in the territories, and just anyone who right now is anti-Zionists, should maybe take the time to open their own minds and hearts too to the Zionist narrative. Get to know it, get to know us, because unless we do that, war will continue.

I'll end with something from the seminar in Givat Haviva (long post, I know - don't shoot me please!). We were fortunate to have a Palestinian older gentleman tell us his personal story of the Naqbe. His name was Adnan, or Abu Hussam, and he told the story of his village of Lajun in what we know today as Emek Yizrael. As it happens, they were never actually driven out per se, but ran away as refugees in the middle of the night after the Arab armies withdrew from their area. What touched me the most, was his story of this then 6-7 years old boy, scared out of his wits, riding a donkey in the middle of the night, and hearing the bullets flying over his head. I have a son who's the same age now, and it broke my heart. I think more Israelis should hear stories like this more often. At the same time, it made me think of my grandmother, who lived in the town of Holon, pregnant with my dad in her belly, and taking care of a 2 years old baby (my aunt), and being fired at every night, by Arabs in nearby villages. Just as scary, just as tragic, just as real. It also made me think of my other grandfather, at the same age, running through the markets of Tunisia, with his injured mother, slashed in her leg by Arabs in an outbreak of riots against Jews. Again, just as scary, just as tragic, just as real.

You see, war is always a tragedy, and no side has a monopoly on heartache. Let's listen to both stories, with respect, with empathy and with a willingness to change the future (the near future too), so that these stories don't repeat as often.

The Major Drill in Two Days

Had I known this was going to be such big news, I'd have posted about the drill last week... I'm sorry, but when I heard that Lebanon's army and the HA are ordered into full alert, I had to laugh. I double checked the date to make sure it's not April's Fool still. It wasn't. And on the news, I just heard Olmert trying to reassure Syria and Lebanon that Israeli is not planning a full attack and this is just a civilian drill.

Well, let me add my own reassurance. Being as my son is in the drill, I ought to know. I had to brief Ron about this, as the kindergarten teachers asked us to do so in a letter. See, the drill is for my six year old son and his friends. It's for them to practice hearing the sirens and going into the sheltered room in their kindergarten. Trust me, Ron isn't about to cross the border into any neighboring country. He's not even allowed to cross the street where we live without parental supervision, so there.

We've always had such drills too, when I was a kid. I think lots of people have been through them, all over the world, nothing too spectacular about them, really. I'm not sure how this turned into an attack on Syria or Lebanon exactly, but honestly, the very thought is just ridiculous. April's Fool Day is supposed to be just a day, not an entire month, right?

Recipe of the Day - A Palestinian State within 3 years

Following my last post... I thought I'd be a good mom and add a recipe! It's real simple and contains only two stages - but it has a cooking time of probably 2-3 years.

Here's a recipe for an independent Palestinian State within 3 years:
1. Halt any violent activity towards Israel - terror attacks, qassam rockets, stone throwing, anything.

2. Arrange mass peaceful demonstrations. Send children to the borders, holding flowers and olive branches. Get the media to cover that. Do that en mass, constantly, repeatedly. Hold rallies with speakers calling out for peace. Smother Israelis with love, and show that to the world.

Within weeks, if not days, you'll have Israel at the negotiations table. You'll have to keep this up for months, even years. The non-violent part needs to remain forever, of course. You'll have your own State, prosperous and peaceful - within a few years.

My Palestinian friends, keep shooting the rockets and you are shooting them at yourself. You will bring only more devastation to your people both in the short term and long term. The Palestinians have one way of "beating" Israel in this game and getting their Palestinian State. You could have have your own Independent State several years ago and they can have it within a short number of years even now. The only road towards that is non-violent struggle.

Voices from Gaza

Deb left a comment here a few days ago with a link to a blog by Dr Mona El Farra. I have been reading her blog (and commenting! I can't keep my mouth shut, as some may have noticed...). I think that many Israelis, myself included, are hungry for communications with the people living in Gaza. Gaza has become this black hole for Israelis, from which rockets are being fired and no one understands why. For peace seeking Israelis, Gaza was supposed to be some sort of a test case to the mantra we kept chanting all these years. To borrow from singer David Broza: "It's going to be ok, just get out of the occupied territories". Well, we got out of part of the occupied territories and it's not really ok, is it? Sigh. A blow to the peace process, a blow to the Israeli left wing, and Israelis can't even see why.

Having spent a while discussing this with Arabs (mostly online), I can see some different perspectives now. None of them really explains to me why the Palestinians are lobbing rockets at us. I sense a lot of anger, born out of sheer despair, at the horrible living conditions of hundreds of thousands of civilians crowded together. They blame Israel with a blockade, while at the same time constantly striving and succeeding even, in importing arms into Gaza.

What bothers me most, is the implicit support of the Kassam attacks by ordinary Palestinians living in Gaza. I hope I'm wrong there and that they don't support it, but I don't see any outright condemnation either. The Kassams are bad for Palestinians - not for Israelis. True, only a few causalities in Israeli from over 4,500 rockets lobbed into our territory. Why throw them then? You get zero military achievement, in terms of causalities (if this is even a military acheivement in its own...). You won't get Israel to stop any undesired policy that way, will you? How is that going to convince Israel to lift the blockade? As an Israeli, a mother, a human being, shuddering at the living conditions in Gaza, let me tell you, I do not want my government to allow Gaza open borders and trade. Convince me first that you won't be using the first opportunity given to get yourselves armed to the teeth with much more advanced rockets that will cause my country much more damage.

Personally, I advocate carefully monitored shipments into Gaza, from any side. Yes, call me patronizing, but I want either the Israeli Navy or some very thorough and effective international force to monitor any shipment going into Gaza. Food and medicine should be allowed in but I want to keep long-range rockets out. Will the Palestinians accept that? or will we get jumped on for "humiliating" them again? Too many issues of national pride involved I'm afraid...

Parenting in Gaza

We were lying in bed last night, talking about this and that, about our kids mostly. A jet fighter came flying over hour house. Not unusual in Israel - jet fighters and helicopters fly over our house everyday, some days worse than others when they're running some exercise or whatever. Triggered some interesting conversation between IsraeliDad and myself.

Earlier that day we went to the gym together. We don't get to watch TV too much here at home. We only get one channel here (broke free from the cables about a year ago), and we don't have much time for it anyway. At the gym, they have screens in front of the treadmills, so this is our chance at catching some programs.

I think that the public TV channels are required by law to dedicate a certain number of hours a day for broadcasts in Arabic. These broadcasts are never on prime time though. I guess it could be argued that with the majority of viewers being Hebrew speakers, there's no point in placing these shows during prime time. Still, I think it creates a kind of a cultural ghetto, since no one really watches TV during the hours to which the Arabic programs have been relegated. Well, no one except us when we march on the treadmill! With my newly acquired political awareness, I am fascinated by these shows. I honestly do think that they should be moved to prime time. There are subtitles in Hebrew anyway, and it will do nobody no harm to listen to some Arabic, and more importantly, to listen to the point of view of Arab speakers.

These shows cover a variety of topics. Many discuss social and cultural issues, revealing aspects in the culture of what we usually call "Israeli Arabs", or as they call it "Israeli Palestinians". The politics is always there, and for a good reason too. Yesterday, we watched two very interesting shows (think of all the exercise accomplished!)

The first show was an interview by leading journalist Rafik Halabi (he's a Druze and you'll find a lot by him and about him if you Google his name). This is a series really, of which I have been fortunate enough to watch more than one episode. He was interviewing Salem Jubran, an Arab intellectual, author and poet. Wonderful interview. I'd vote for him as for Prime Minister. Such a wonderfully balanced view of the world, addressing the shades of gray in both Arab and Jewish societies in Israel. Very critical of the Israeli government and regime, yet so positive about the country as a whole, and about the chances of peace here. Not overly optimistic, just positive. I found a few pages with his writing, or interviews with him. Posting them here for now - I hope to refer to some topics presented there in future posts -
A pleasant flight - for Arabs too

A Bridge For Happiness

The second show was about the current situation in Gaza. The Arab presenter had a panel of four - two of them Palestinians (from East Jerusalem and the West Bank) and two Israelis. The show was all in Arabic. There was a surprising consensus reached and a sad one at that. They all agreed that it's up to the Palestinians at this point to get a hold of themselves, stop the fighting among themselves and work towards strengthening their elected leadership. No one was very optimistic there. The Israelis (a journalist and a scholar) explained how the way things are going, Israel is more than likely to be dragged into Gaza, maybe even sooner or later. He said how the IDF would have no choice but to finally march into Gaza and re-occupy the place.

The Palestinian journalist (it was the well known journalist and human rights activist Bassem Eid) replied saying how this would be a grave mistake. That an Israeli invasion would only cause harm and make Palestinians escalate the struggle on their end. Well, not that we don't know that. It's just that, like the Israeli journalist explained to him, in the end of the day the IDF is committed to protecting Israel, and simply can't avoid action in response to the rockets.

If I may elaborate on that point. The IDF is called the Israeli Defense Forces for a reason. When rockets are lobbed at Israel, it's in the IDF's calling to stop the rockets from being fired. No one is saying that the IDF is inactive btw, only that things may come to the point, not very far from now where the IDF will have on other means of fighting the rockets other than walking into Gaza and disarming the Palestinians, house by house if necessary. It will be an ugly bloodshed for both sides. Nobody is looking forward to that, and everyone knows this will come at a heavy price to both Palestinians and Israelis.

What would be the price? To the Palestinians this could be a terrible terrible blow in terms of both civilian and armed militia casualties, the first simply because there will be heavy fighting going on on their territory in a heavily populated area. To Israel, the cost is likely to be in casualties on the part of the IDF. The Israeli public is very intolerant of IDF casualties. People call the soldiers "our children", which they are after all, in a society where you still have compulsory military service at the age of 18. However, they are soldiers, and when the choice is between civilians being bombed in Sderot or IDF soldiers killed while defending them, at some point, the government will opt for the second. It is what the army is there for, as tragic as it is for the families of the soldiers.

Most likely, the heaviest price will be shared by Israelis and Palestinians alike: the ultimate blow to the peace process in the form of the IDF re-conquering Gaza. The lesson of that in Israeli eyes, government and citizens alike, is likely to be that the Palestinians cannot be trusted with their own sovereignty. They are still too fragmented and still operating as tribes and "Hamulas", unable to form national institutions of their own. Obviously, fingers will be pointed at Israel for somehow "not allowing" these institutions to form. I wonder how many Arabs will have the courage to lay at least part of the blame on the Palestinians themselves?

So much for yesterday's time of relaxation at the gym... and as you can see ID and myself spent a while discussing this.

Fast forward to our night time, lying in bed, listening to the jet fighters. We talked about how awful it must be to be lying in one's bed in Gaza tonight, not too far away from where we live, with your children sleeping, just like ours, listening to jet fighters flying over your head. How unbearable it must be for those Palestinians mothers and fathers to have to raise their children with that constant fear for their very lives, and how awful for the children. Every now and again we are shown Palestinians mothers on the news, saying the most horrible things, about how they wish their children would die as "Shaeeds" in the struggle against Israel. I refuse to believe that there are no sane Palestinians in Gaza who just want their children to grow up, healthy and happy, same as we do here.

My heart goes out to these families over there. And yes, also to the Jewish parents in Sderot, who right now raise their children under the constant thread of Qassam rockets. It's terrible on both sides. I know that there are many initiatives right now within Israel to help the families of Sderot, in essence evacuate the children out of the war zone at least temporarily. I wish there was something similar done for the children of Gaza. There is something terrible about taking children away from their families, but I think that it would still be the right thing to do, to get them out and find them hosting families for now. Naive, I know, and not about to be performed by any organization. What a shame....

Our Day in the Golan Heights

Almost sneaking out of the house in the morning for this one, we packed the kids in the car and drove to the demonstration in the Golan Heights. Of course, we can't really keep any secrets in the family, so we ended up telling my in-laws where we went later that evening. During the morning we still kept it hushed down though.

The kids were never told we're going to a demonstration, let alone about what. We feel they're too young for that, so to them this was just a day out.

We left earlier than needed, so on the way to the Golan Heights we made the mandatory stop at Golani Junction at their MacDonald's branch. Now, Golani junction isn't named after the Golan, but after one of the IDF's brigades. It's usually a place where soldiers gather, on the way back and from their deployments up in the North, and also families like ours traveling. It's also a local attraction for the region's locals, namely you see quite a few Druze and Arabs there as well. The staff is always mixed, as far as I can tell, with both Arabs and Jews serving in all positions.

We got a kiddie meal (with the toy!), and a bowl of the latest local dish served at the big M - a finely chopped, freshly prepared Mediterranean salad, seasoned with olive oil, lemon juice, mint and parsley - yummy and very healthy! The kids spent a while playing at the indoors playground there, while IsraeliDad and myself sat nearby reading the paper. So far, the day was proving to be a huge success ;)









We drove on northward, me looking at the view, thinking how sad this whole deal was. Such a beautiful place, populated by beautiful people, dreamers and visionaries that wanted to make a home for their family in a very special place. Unlike the West Bank (let alone Gaza), the Golan is sparsely populated and was so during 1967 as well.

At last, we reached the designated meeting point, at Ein Zivan junction. No less than six police cars and vans were waiting for us there, and seemed rather pleased to finally see someone looking for the demonstration. They weren't making a political statement, just bored, saying not too many other people had shown up. They told us the rally itself is held further along the road, in the tourist observation point located across the border from the Syrian town of Kuneitra.

The place itself is beautiful (as is the rest of the Golan Heights), with a great outlook on the views of Syria, right across from the UN camp in the demilitarized zone between the two countries. The weather was nice, and we spent a nice hour or so, listening to speeches. The two more prominent speakers were Israeli author Sami Michael and Israeli poet Roni Somek. Their heartfelt speeches addressed one simple point, which was the message of the rally: Let's respond to the Syrian signals and engage in a dialogue. At no point did anyone even mention the withdrawal from the Golan Heights directly. At most, there was a vague reference to the price of peace (mentioning that it was heavy, but not as heavy as the price of war).

I was slightly disappointed when one of the speakers tried some low scare tactics, saying that if we don't head towards peace with Syria now, we'll have war with Syria under a year. He went on to say that we won't be able to stand at that very place, because rockets will be falling on the Golan Heights. I thought this to be a very unlikely scenario... The point I would have made instead is that unless we enter negotiations with the Syrians, there is more than likely going to be another war with the Hezbulla.


As you can see from this picture, the demonstration wasn't exactly crowded. IsraeliDad is there, trying to get the boys to sit "in the shade" (there wasn't much of it, obviously). It was a very peaceful event - the bored policemen never even got close. There was quite a lot of press there, it almost looked like you had more journalists and photographers than actual participants. Then again, this demonstration wasn't advertised anywhere that we could see, and unless you happen to be on certain mailing lists, you wouldn't even know it took place. We are not actually ON those mailing lists either, but were forwarded a copy by friends. Funnily enough, the people on those lists were mostly the kind of people who won't come to such a demonstration because it's taking place "in occupied territory"...

We stayed there for about an hour, then headed south again as it was over. It felt strange, going past the Kibbutz where my brother-in-law lives, but we thought it would be way too awkward to visit under the circumstances. We never even told them we were going, as per the request of my parents-in-law. Sigh.

On the way back, we stopped for a nice lunch in a semi-famous Arab restaurant called "Yunes". We had a very good time there, with the hospitable staff generously talking us into buying less food, rather than more! Now, there's a refreshing approach in a restaurant!

The food itself was excellent. The parents kept to
Hummus and a selection of salads, while the kids had their all time favorite - meats on sticks aka Shish-kebab (aka locally as shishlik). They were taught a few Arab words by the kind waiter who really enjoyed them (and them him as well!) . All in all, we had a great time there, with a lovely "on the house" finale of black Arab coffee, sweet cakes, fresh apples and dates. As perfect as can be, and not very expensive either.


Sitting here typing and listening to the news... We focused on the north today, but Israel's hot front is down south today, with a constant barrage of rockets from Gaza into the town Sderot, along with constant IDF attacks into Gaza. Looks like things are escalating quickly. I did read today that Hammas is doing this intentionally, attempting to drag Israel into a direct conflict. I also read how Shimon Peres said this week that Israel will not have its policy dictated by the Hammas, meaning we won't attack just because they are provoking. Well, looks like attack we do, and I guess now it remains to see just how severely.

It seems pretty clear though, that unless the Palestinians come to their senses in Gaza, the government will have little choice but to increase the attack, maybe even going all the way with a ground attack, literally taking Gaza over again. It's a question of public opinion more than anything. People are too short sighted to see the outcome - they just want the government to do something - anything - to stop the rockets.

On a personal level, I am worried that IsraeliDad may be called in again, for who knows how long, in case things escalate on the Southern front. I sure hope things won't come to that... and not just for my own personal selfish motives either.

Finally, the Right Statement from Olmert

Olmert says he's ready to talk peace with Arab World

When I was growing up, seeking peace was supposed to be the standard Israeli policy, or so we were told. Common wisdom was that Israel was always reaching out to its enemies and calling for peace. Sadat is immensely popular in Israel to this day, for being the first Arab leader to finally "accept" our offers and show up to talk peace.

I'm not sure when the change took place. How come our government is so peace-shy these days that it takes a special declaration by the Prime Minister to just say that we are "willing" to talk? I expect my government to make clear at all times that Israel is not just "willing" to discuss peace, but is actively seeking peace. Of course, they do actually have to actively seek peace, not just by declarations but by initiating meetings, talks and confidence building measures. We can't afford to "be willing" (let alone to be unwilling!) - peace is in Israel's best interest, first and foremost. If we don't push towards peace, we'll be pushed into war. I know which I prefer.